Proactivity: A Habit of High Achievers

“Wars are won in the mind before they can be won on the field” - Christopher Morley

You probably didn’t expect a war metaphor to kick this off, but here we are. Whether you like it or not, we are at war, not with others, but with ourselves.

Have you felt that it has become way more challenging to stay focused and concentrate on working on something? Every day, we battled distractions, doubts, and discomfort. Especially when we want to do something meaningful — build a business, nurture a relationship, start a project, or grow into the person we aspire to be —things become so difficult. We, most of the time, choose the easiest and sweetest path that gets us nowhere. The battle? Staying consistent. The enemy? Ourselves, mostly, and probably that phone and social media.

So is there a solution to face the noise in our world today? Yes, one that high achievers swear by: Proactivity.

Now, I won’t hit you with a textbook definition. Instead, let’s unpack what proactivity actually looks like and feels like. By the end of this, you will know it, not just in theory but in practice.

The Trap of Reactivity

We live in a world that's quick to blame and quick to judge. It’s easier to point fingers at the economy, our parents, our past, the weather, anything, than to look inward. True growth begins with self-awareness, our ability to step outside ourselves, observe, and question: “Is this how I want to respond? Or am I letting my circumstances decide for me?”

Too often, we live by what Stephen Covey called the social mirror —seeing ourselves through others’ perceptions instead of our own values. We are not our emotions, our environment, or even our thoughts. Those are passing clouds. You are the sky.

The Power of Choice

There’s a formula I learned from Brian Cain: E (event) + R (response) = O (outcome)

You don’t control the E. Life usually throws what it wants at you. In these moments, you are responsible for the R. That’s you, and it changes the entire O. Here’s the twist: Freedom to choose your response comes with the responsibility to own it. This is where proactivity steps in. Being proactive means you are not a puppet of your circumstances, you are an agent of choice. Your behavior is based on decisions, not conditions or circumstances.

When life hits you hard in the face, don’t act like the reactive people who are ruled by feelings, moods, and environment. Instead, live by values, chosen and internalized, and upheld, even the way you see things.

Why This Matters (More Than You Think)

I’m not preaching from a mountaintop. I’ve been reactive. I’ve let emotions lead. I’ve blamed. I’ve waited for things to change instead of changing myself, but I've learned that it's not what happens to us that defines us, but rather what happens within us when it does.

You can’t always control what life throws at you, but you always control who you become in response. If you are tired of waiting for better circumstances, start with a better response. That’s where the power is. That’s where progress begins.

Here’s something to remember: Choose values over vibes. Choose action over excuse. Choose to win the war - internally - first.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can hurt you without your consent.” Stop giving people permission to hurt you and then complain about it. Your response to the situation is important if you want to foster good relationships.